an idiot in canada


Thursday 22nd February 2001.
The groover in Vancouver

My flight left Melbourne at 8:25am, 22nd February, and was scheduled to arrive in Vancouver at 8:25am, 22nd February. Interesting.

I was in the right mood to be seated next to a lunatic. Instead a bloke from Vancouver sat next to me, and promptly fell asleep. So I watched all three in-flight movies, which wasn't so bad.

I was met at Vancouver Airport by a couple of my mum's old friends. Olive and Lorne whisked me off to an ABC Restaurant where I had pancakes and scrambled eggs and maple syrup...yum. They then took me down to the ferry that weaves through the islands to the city of Victoria on Vancouver Island.

On the ferry I noticed that there seemed to be a higher proportion of the male population with moustaches. Is this limited to ferries, or is this a western Canada thing?

I took a bus from the ferry into the centre of Victoria where I met Noelle. Yes that's right - Noelle! She of el Camino de Santiago fame.

After I met all three of her brothers, we went to the supermarket to do some shopping. We were at the checkout and I was checking out the array of chocolate bars and assorted confectionary available. "What's an 'Oh Henry!' bar?" I asked.
"It's a bar," replied Noelle.
"But what's in it?"
"Chocolate...and stuff." A definitive answer.
"Right." I left it at that.

That night we had dinner at Noelle's parent's place, with Chris and Dylan (two of Noelle's younger brothers). I had macaroni and cheese - a first! During dinner I somehow mentioned that I'd never seen an Oh Henry! bar before. Dylan, the youngest who is about 10, just couldn't believe it. "You've never had an Oh Henry bar?" he asked, his eyes wide with disbelief.
"We don't have them in Australia," I said.
"You don't have Oh Henry bars in Australia?" The kid just couldn't believe it. "Do you have Mars bars in Australia?"
"But you don't have Oh Henry bars?"
"Uh, no."
"How can you not have Oh Henry bars?"
"We just don't!" The conversation continued like that for a looooong time.