Saturday, 16th June 2001.
Noelle has rels that live up north. St Helens, to be precise. We hired a car and
hit the road.
But first of all I played for the inimitable Ispurs against the evil Cybury Gooners.
We played in the pouring rain, it wasn't a lot of fun, and we got rolled. Moving right
With Grumpy Ian at the wheel, the journey was conducted largely in silence.
(Once someone asked me if I often talked about myself in the third person. I said
"Sometimes Ian does, sometimes Ian doesn't.")
As we neared St Helens (well, we thought we were approaching St Helens!) we realised
that we couldn't find the turnoff that Lynn (Noelle's aunt) had specified in the
Next thing we knew we were in Liverpool.
We negotiated a not-too-dodgy u-turn and headed back onto the motorway, while
Noelle phoned Lynn again. We managed to find the turnoff, and promptly became confused
by the lack of correlation between the directions and the roadsigns. Eventually we
stopped in at a service station, where an elderly gentleman offered to lead us to
"What happened?" I asked as we drove off following the small blue car.
"Well, I asked for directions, the person at the counter said they were busy, but
the old man offered to help."
"So he knows where we're going?" I'm an expert at asking obvious questions.
"I read the directions out to him, and he said he'd take us there."
So we followed this bloke to Ilfracombe Road, where we pulled up alongside him and
thanked him profusely. "So," I said to Noelle as we drove off, the elderly bloke now
following us, "what number are we looking for?"
There was a temporary silence. "Ah, well...it's not in this road."
"Ok, so where do we turn off?" I asked.
"Hmm, well we were actually supposed to drive past this road!"
Noelle read from her directions: "Drive past Ilfracombe Road, then it's the first
street on the right!"
So we drove right to the end of Ilfracombe Road (I think it was more of a crescent,
but what does it matter?) executed a quick left back onto the main road and a sharp
right, leaving a puzzled gentleman behind us.
"That bloke's going to think we're idiots!"
"He'd be right!"