an idiot in london


Sunday, 26th March
Fair Dinkum

When passing through customs at Heathrow, all Australians should be warned that the English watch Neighbours. This show has done immeasurable damage.

I had a look at another flat early in the afternoon, this time in Hammersmith. It seemed nice enough, but I got the feeling that the two incumbents had already decided on someone else. (I reckon it was the cute Australian girl that left soon after I arrived. The male flatmate was completely in love with her.) Anyway, we were doing the "little chat" thing, and I uttered those two magic words, "fair dinkum".

Well the female flatmate cracked up. She asked "Do people in Australia really talk like that? I thought it was just on Neighbours."

Bloody Neighbours.

They didn't call me back.

Later in the afternoon I ventured out to South Ealing. I liked the look of South Ealing, it looked like a relaxed area, not too stressful. I say that because there weren't adverts in the phone booths for massage services. Not like Kensington, where the people are very stressed.

The house in South Ealing was populated by four actors, and it actually had a back yard! It was the first place I had seen in London with a back yard. They even had a barbecue! Alas, I missed out on the flat (despite all of them being captivated by my quaint Australian sayings, unlike that silly girl from Hammersmith). But they sounded sincere, which is good.

"Are you Bob from Dallas?" he asked. No I bloody well am not. West Hampstead was the last flat on my list for Sunday, and things hadn't started well.

Monsieur was studying his masters in architecture (and I thought I had wasted my time at university) and the two sheilas looked like professional students as well. I only got to speak to him, and he suffered from a chronic case of name dropping. To tell the truth I don't give a shit about Natalie Imbruglia.

I didn't bother ringing them back.

Spoke to the medical students from Fulham again. Looks like a goer. Fulham here I come!

POSTSCIPT: I had a dream last night that Carlton lost to Collingwood by four points. If only.