an idiot in london


Wednesday, 29th March
Would you like fries with that?

Now I'm not the kind of bloke to bang on about something (unless we're talking football) but customer service is so important.

I went to McDonalds (asking for trouble, I know) and the bloke who served me was a freak. First of all he didn't look at me when I was giving him my order. He was looking at the counter, playing with some little badges. "Hello, are you listening to me?" I asked.

"Yes" he said indignantly. "Well you're not looking at me!" I said with a hint of agitation. When my brother was very little, he used to demand that people looked at thim when he was talking. "You're not listening with your eyes!" he would pout.

So Weird Boy took my order, and after being given all the signs of a customer ready to snap, he managed to bugger it up. If anyone out there can tell me the similarities between a fish burger and a big mac, email me at

I retreated to the YHA hostel in Holland Park, where I was spending the night. I stumbled up to the room, and sat down on the edge of my bed. It creaked very loudly. "Good thing you're girlfriend's not staying in your bed as well!" laughed an Australian voice from the bunk next to me. Yeah, I thought, those imaginary girlfriends sure can make a lot of noise.

And this bloke was yet another Carlton supporter! On Monday I was on the train and a bloke started staring at me. I thought this a little strange. I glanced back later and he and his wife were both gawking at me. Bizarre! They got off the train before me, and he gestured towards my jacket, "Carlton Football Club ay?" Bloody Australians are everywhere. "That's the one," I said. I then informed him about the humiliating loss to last year's wooden spooners. Put a downer on his day.

So I've met a few Carlton supporters, a Richmond supporter, and one Collingwood supporter. No Essendon supporters yet. I guess that's because 14-year-old girls can only travel overseas with their parents. I LOVE YOU MATTY LLOYD!! MATTY MATTY MATTY!!! OOOH BLAKE!! BLAKE'S NOT AS CUTE AS MATTY!! IS TOO!! IS NOT!! TELL TAMEIKA I'M NOT TALKING TO HER!!