an idiot in london


Wednesday, 3rd May.
Thai me kangaroo down

At some stage, I may have said that all Thai restaurants have dodgy music. In fact it may have been on Monday. Tonight we went to a Thai restaurant which played what could well have been authentic Thai music.

We were celebrating Simon passing his exam today. It was a big one, if he failed he would have had to repeat the entire year. Si's diagnosis: "Ripped it and left".

(Apologies for the incredibly bad pun in the title.)

(It was appalling, really, inexcusable in fact.)

(I feel ashamed.)

(I wonder how Carlton will go this weekend?)

The food was delicious. When we had eaten our fill and paid the bill we ripped it and left for a pub in Hammersmith, by the Thames.

Bloody hell, more medical students. It's like they're breeding. Actually they are. "We'd better save some one pound coins in case there's a red alert," said Jules. "Yeah mate you're right," said Mo. Mo is yet another medical student, and a regular caller at the Dawes Road Palace. He likes to impersonate people on the phone. Not famous people, just people. Other people. People that aren't Mo. Imaginary people. Un-Mo People. I can pick him now, confused the buggery out of me the first couple of times he rang up.

"Red alert?" I queried. "Yeah mate, in case someone yells out RED ALERT we'll be first in, we'll be ready," said Jules. Hmm.

"OK, I'm Kevin Clueless...what?" I had no idea what he was on about. Jules and Mo pointed to the gambling machine in the corner. It was called "Red Alert".

Later the call was made for Red Alert, and Jules and Mo proceeded to milk the machine, investing 1 and getting 4.40 return. Nice little earner that, if you know what you're doing. Which I didn't.

A very drunk Englishman lurched towards us, holding two beers, rather what was left of the two beers after he had spilled a fair bit on the floor. "Can't even hold two beers!" he exclaimed. The other night I explained to everyone the phrase "two-pot screamer". They used it here. Although he'd quite likely had enough alcohol to tranquilise a large beast. Like a big English medical student.


Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down...