an idiot in germany

October 2001

Saturday, 6th October 2001.
More fat

Dave snored magnificently.

The air in the room was thick come morning, you could slice it with a knife. The window in the room doesn't open. Although that's not strictly true. It does open, it's just that when it's open tbe fire alarm gets set off for some unknown reason. Chuck six wet towels in there and six slumbering bodies and it's not pretty.

I took the train to Koln (Cologne), and found a hostel near the station. I dumped my backpack in my room, and noticed a couple of pairs of what were colloquially known in Launceston as "root boots" lying around. (Also known as "CFM boots".) Hmm, interesting.

I had a quick nose round the cathedral, then found an Irish pub (one of MANY in Koln) that was showing the England vs Greece game. The Irish were getting a bit carried away when Greece were 2-1 up, but were brought back down to earth when the equaliser went in.

Back at the hostel, there were three German girls in my room! Frauleins on bikes? No, but they were nubile 19-ish student types. I interrogated one of them, angling for an invite to wherever they were going, but no invite was forthcoming!

Resigned to a night of solitude, I went out, added to the Falafel Count, and eventually came back to the hostel. Another Australian bloke and an American couple were there, and I got the conversation pumping.

Alternative energy! Windmills! All outdated, I said. Yesterday's technology. Rabbit power is the future! Rabbit power? Yes, I said, we will harness the energy of rabbits rooting, simultaneously solving problems of rabbit population in Australia and renewable energy. But how could you harness the energy of a rabbit rooting? Well, it's not the kind of thing I'd want to detail on a family website like this.

And fatness! The USA is the fattest nation in the world! But Australia is second, and in time WE will be the fattest nation in the world. We are not content with second place! As we speak, Australia is importing polynesians to breed with the local populace and putting game consoles in every home in an effort to get all those kiddies fat as puddings.