It has come to my attention that Some People don't like football. So, in the interests of balance and office harmony, this week I offer:
TEN REASONS NOT TO GO TO THE FOOTBALL (in no particular order)
1) One of the teams is Collingwood
2) The shops in Chapel Street are still open on Saturday afternoon
3) No dress cricle at MCG
4) Some of those dirty people from North Of The Yarra go to the football
5) Can't get a good latte at any ground, not even Optus Oval
6) Lillian Frank doesn't go to the football
7) Don't want our darling children to be influenced by the buffoons that go to the football
8) Melbourne aren't the same since they dumped Norm Smith
9) Eddie McGuire does go to the football
10) Footy jumper just doesn't go with the Bohemian look
TEN REASONS TO GO TO THE FOOTBALL (in no particular order)
1) One of the teams is Collingwood
2) Meet "interesting" (ie loopy) people (like me)
3) Yelling out "ball!"
4) Can wear fleecy trackpants
5) Talking footy on the tram
6) Full and frank exchange at the urinal at three-quarter time
7) Poetry on cheersquad banner
8) Congratulate umpires on excellent decisions made in front of members' reserve
9) See any one of the Rocca brothers miss goals (except for last week's twilight zone effort)
10) Navy blue